To Fix What's Wrong
by SaliHall
Summary: This story is a sequel to To Put Things Right and it's about Castiel. It complies with S6. In 6.20, Castiel asked for a sign. What if Lily and the unknown angel were the sign? Did Castiel stop in time? AU for S7
1. Chapter 1

**This sequel is a reboot and centers on Castiel. It complies more fully with Season 6. In 6.20, Castiel asked for a sign. What if Lily and the unknown angel were the sign? Did Castiel stop in time? Can he forgive himself?**

Lily was sitting in her back yard, on the first warmish day of the year. The sun was shining and her garden, the one that Bobby had helped her with last year, would soon be ready for a new season of flowers, plants and… maybe some vegetables?

She looked around at the oasis of peace that Bobby had created for her. A cleared space that had grass and flowers, a toddler's play set and which also had a table and chairs for eating. There was even a fancy grill. One she had never bothered to figure out, but Bobby and her boys used frequently. There was even a white picket fence surrounding the area.

Beyond that, was the salvage yard; she never complained about the view, though. The yard beyond was how Bobby supported his family; even though she contributed with the books she wrote.

There was other money, too; money, which she and the boys had inherited from their families after the massacre and destruction of their home. It was all in a bank; as were the insurance payouts. The government had also purchased land from any identified, surviving heirs. She was actually in good financial shape, but it was money she never wanted. At some point though, she was going to have to figure out what to do with it. It would probably pay for college for the kids or something. It was last on her list of things to do that she referred to as 'recovery steps' and it would soon be time to handle that chore.

She shook her head; she was sitting in the backyard _trying_ to think about the next chapter she was writing. This book would be about her characters, Chloe and Conner and not about Sam and Dean Winchester. She pondered whether she was done with them or if she ever really _would_ be done with them. She hadn't had flashes for awhile and that made her smile. If she was done with them, then that meant they were at peace and could have that storybook ending they both needed so badly. Anyway, the last thing she wrote about them _felt_ like the end.

In a couple of weeks, she and Emily would go and visit them and their wives. She loved that both girls were pregnant and that Sarah was finally over the morning sickness that had been plaguing her. She thought of them as a combination of sister and daughter and loved how happy they made Sam and Dean.

She loved how strong willed Blair was and how she could stand up to Dean when he was being his most overbearing, protective… self. She also loved that Sarah could pull Sam out of his occasional bouts of bad mood with humour and patience. The South didn't hold the patent on Steel Magnolias. She was glad that these iron-strong women had been chosen for the boys. She hoped that she was that strong now and that she could raise Emily to be strong as well.

As she thought of her daughter, she glanced over at the baby monitor. Emily had an afternoon nap everyday; mainly because she thought six am was a _great_ time to be awake and woke the whole house every morning. She glanced at her watch and realized that her quiet time was nearly over. Emily would wake up soon – so much for thinking about her book.

Just as she was gathering up the things she had brought out, a cup with the last of some tea, the baby monitor, her notebook (the one she hadn't even opened), and her sunglasses, she heard a sound. Turning around, she saw Castiel standing in her yard.

He was looking at her with a hopeful expression on his face, "Is she awake?"

Lily smiled at him. He didn't come around _too_ often, but when he did, his first question was invariably about Emily. She shook her head and started for the back door, "Not yet, but any minute now. You can go get her if you want." The distinctive sound of wings flapping told her that Cas had done just that.

She went into the house and waited for them to come down. When Cas was with Emily, she rarely interrupted them.

**SPNSPNSPN**

Castiel stood over Emily's bed and just waited for her to open her eyes. As he waited, he ruminated on his role in her life. When Emily was 9 months old, she had been baptized at the Lutheran Church. Castiel had been there because Lily had asked him. He was surprised because when he got there; he discovered that Lily and Bobby had named _him_ her godfather.

When he met the pastor of the little church, Castiel had discovered that the man was a simple and faithful servant of God. The pastor had not been told that Castiel was an angel, of course, but Cas thought the man might know anyway. Castiel had started to visit him from time to time, because he found a measure of peace when he talked to the man.

The Civil War in Heaven was over and had been for awhile, but Castiel was still angry with himself and filled with shame over the things he had done in an effort to stop Raphael. He had yet to find the peace that Chuck had helped Sam and Dean find. He found that the pastor of that small Lutheran Church was helping him a little. So did spending time with this child and Lily. For some reason, Lily had a hold on him that the others, not even Dean, had.

Castiel continued to watch over Emily as she slept. He thought about their link; she had some of his grace and its presence was becoming more obvious. He no longer had to touch her to feel it and that was unexpected. He had assumed the grace would just be there. Like it was in the people he had healed, but it appeared to be growing as she grew. At some point, he would have to talk to Bobby and Lily about it.

When Emily opened her eyes, the first person she saw was her Godfather. As usual, she smiled and laughed in delight. Then she got up and held up her arms for him to get her. Castiel smiled and picked her up. She grabbed his face, planted a kiss on him and shouted, "Cas!"

**SPNSPNSPN**

Downstairs, Lily smiled when she heard her daughter shout and knew that she probably would have been able to hear it without the monitor. Emily had a loud voice on occasion, especially when she was happy. When she was mad, well, she got even louder. Lily reached over and turned off the monitor; Cas was with her.

She thought about the little girl God had given her and Bobby and she smiled. Emily Claire Singer was a happy baby. She rarely had bad moments and when she did they were over quickly. She was nearly always smiling and cheerful. To be honest, it kind of wigged the entire family out on occasion. They would, however, fight tooth and nail to see that she remained that happy forever.

She and Bobby had known from the jump that they were going to have to share Emily with Castiel and they included him as much as possible. They tried to call him so he could be there to see the firsts. Cas was there when they got Emily on her feet and walking; he saw the first smiles, the first laughter and her first rollover.

Her sons, however, were the ones who taught Emily her first real word: 'dammit'. They laughed like loons when she said it the first time, and didn't seem to care when they were punished for it. Even now, if they were reminded, they'd start to laugh again. Cas had missed that one.

Emily's second word was 'balls!' and she wasn't talking about the round, bouncy, child's toy, either. Castiel had been there for that, but thankfully had not understood the reference, or had ignored it. Lily had been irritated and Bobby had had much explaining to do to get out from under her wrath. Now, even though she was only a little over two years old, Emily was talking a lot and sometimes in complete sentences. It was disconcerting, but they all knew she was smart; Chuck had said so. Everyone had learned to watch their mouths though.

Lily started thinking about her sons; _her_ Sam and Dean. They were going on 16 and 17 years old. They were amazing and wonderful and everything a mother could want. They had been able to return to school shortly after they moved to South Dakota and they were friendly and popular _and_ they kept their grades up. Not that she was complaining, but they were almost _too_ good. They never got into fights, lost their tempers or acted up in any way. It was probably the result of what happened to them, but it did worry her some.

They were the best of big brothers, though. They would play endlessly with Emily or 'e-Claire' as they persisted in calling her. They would also take her with them if they were doing something that she could safely participate in. They had even taken her with them on a double date once. Although that was a rare occasion and involved a picnic at a local play park. Lily knew that with their training, they could protect Emily almost as well as Bobby or the Winchesters. They still went around armed with knives, and for that matter, so did she.

Because their dad wasn't able to, Bobby was teaching them about mechanics and power tools; and with Bobby's and Dean Winchester's help they had rebuilt a car. They sold it because they couldn't drive it yet, so with the money they earned, they rebuilt another one; just in time for Sam's driving lessons. She started the lessons and covered defensive driving. She knew that Bobby and Dean had both taken a turn with lessons in _offensive_ driving. They had all stressed that safety was paramount, though. Now they were rebuilding a car for Dean. They earned the money for the projects by helping Bobby in the garage or with some of the research. Dean Winchester was also giving them pointers about carpentry.

While she was ruminating, Lily had cleaned the kitchen and dusted Bobby's office, where they almost always ended their day together. A longer, more comfortable couch had been moved into the room. As she was cleaning, she realized that working on her book today was a lost cause.

**SPNSPNSPN**

Awhile later, Castiel brought Emily down. He wouldn't use his wings with her, so he carried her down the stairs. He put her down and she ran to her mother who picked her up and then winced. "Would it kill you to change her diaper? Or sit her on the potty?"

Castiel nodded at her and with a serious face answered, "Yes, I believe it might."

Lily spluttered, "Cas! You made a funny!"

He watched from a distance while she took care of the chore and then brought the little girl back to the kitchen. Lily turned from washing her hands at the kitchen sink and looked at the angel. He was worrying her and had been for awhile. "Cas, are you alright?" She leaned back against the counter and rested her hands on its edge.

He didn't answer her as he sat down on the floor and watched Emily move about her toy kitchen set. Occasionally, she would bring him something she had 'cooked' and watch and laugh while he pretended to eat it. Finally, he looked at Lily and shrugged. "I'm fine."

Shaking her head and grumbling under her breath, Lily responded to the non-answer, "The longer you are on earth and hanging with my men, the worse you get."

If he had been human, Castiel probably would have given her a look. The one that said, 'back off', but he decided to ignore her and just watched the little girl as she moved on to another toy. This time it was a doll baby.

After she picked up the doll, Emily looked at her mother, "Cas is sad." Then she picked up a baby bottle and jammed it into the dolls mouth. She cradled the baby in her arms and walked over to Castiel who was still sitting on the floor. She then sat down in the angel's lap.

Lily felt chills on her spine when her daughter spoke those words. Emily was a little more astute than the average toddler. It had happened before, but so far, it had only been when she was alone with her daughter. She was always a little disconcerted when it occurred, though.

She looked at Castiel to see his reaction, but he was holding the child and wasn't looking at her. "Cas, is she right?" She asked softly.

Castiel kissed Emily on the forehead and hugged her. He then set her on her feet beside him and gave her a smile. The next moment he was gone.

Nothing could have alarmed Lily more. Castiel usually stayed hours when he was visiting Emily. He would take her outside and play with her or take her to her room and read her a story or any number of things. This was the first time he had left so fast.

Lily watched her daughter play with the doll. She saw that Emily was neither disappointed nor upset when the angel left so fast. Lily thought that maybe her baby girl knew exactly where Cas had gone. She looked at Emily and with a shaky voice asked, "Sweetie? Do you know where he went? Did Uncle Sam or Uncle Dean call him?"

Emily looked at her and then looked off to the right, as if she was thinking, "No, Unca Sam and Unca Dean okay."

Lily smiled at her daughter as though this whole conversation they were having didn't scare her witless. She took a deep breath and nodded, "Oh well, that's good. Are you hungry? Do you want a snack?"

Emily smiled at her mommy and said, "Apples?"

Relieved by the 'normal' request, Lily huffed out a breath and laughed, "Of course! You want peanut butter, too?"

Emily giggled and ran to her chair at the kitchen table and climbed into it while Lily got an apple and started to prepare it. After setting the apple bites in front of her daughter, she turned to get her phone. She was going to call Bobby.

**SPNSPNSPN**

Castiel hated that he had left Emily that way, but he hadn't realized that the link he had with her was now going both ways. He had always known exactly where she was and how she was feeling. He was glad that she was happy most of the time and was genuinely surprised when she got mad. He would have to go back later and start explaining to the family what he thought was going on.

When he had flown away, he had no clear destination in mind and was slightly surprised to discover that he was standing in front of Pastor Scott Jacobs' small home. He walked up to the door and knocked.

The pastor had been reading in his study when he heard the door. Somehow he knew who it was and was therefore unsurprised to see the man. As he opened the door, he said, "Castiel, come in, come in!"

The pastor didn't stand more than 5'6 inches tall and had a slender build. He was in his mid 60s and his hair was mostly gray. It needed a trim, but since the man's wife had died two years ago, he rarely remembered to go to the barber until it was long enough to notice. That was the sort of thing Lucy, his wife, had handled.

When Castiel entered the house, the pastor looked at him. For some time, now, he had noticed that his unusual new friend was struggling with something. He hadn't seen him in awhile and today, he seemed to be even worse.

He gestured to the angel to follow him back into his study where he poured Castiel a shot of whiskey. He usually didn't drink much, but kept the alcohol around for occasions such as these. He gestured to the chair opposite his and Castiel sat down. He waited a few moments and when the other man didn't speak, he decided to begin the conversation, "Have you visited your little goddaughter lately?"

Castiel was looking into the glass of whiskey and nodded his head, "I was just there." He didn't look at the pastor as he took a sip of the drink.

Scott was watching the man across from him, "And how is she? Lily mentioned awhile ago that they had started potty training. Is that going well?"

Castiel shrugged, "I am sure Emily will understand soon. She is a smart little girl."

"Yes, her Sunday school teacher says the same thing. Emily doesn't contribute much in Sunday school, unless her teacher is discussing angels. Then she tells the teacher when she thinks Mrs. Simmons gets something wrong." Scott had been watching the man across from him carefully when he said that.

Castiel smiled a little at that, but otherwise didn't comment. He was looking into the glass he was holding. Finally, he said, "I tell Emily a lot of angel stories."

Scott nodded, hoping Castiel would continue.

Castiel swallowed the rest of the whiskey in the glass and then finally looked at him, "Do you know who I am?"

A little confused by the question, Scott smiled, "You're Castiel, and you're Emily Claire's godfather."

"Do you know… _what_ I am?" Castiel was looking at the pastor closely.

Scott lost his smile, "I suspect…"

Castiel leaned forward, still holding his glass and put his elbows on his knees. Quietly he asked, "What do you suspect?"

There was sweat on the pastor's back, suddenly he was afraid. Not that he would be hurt, but that he wouldn't be able to handle the truth of this man. He decided to say the most extreme theory he had, "I, uh…" Scott stammered, "I think you might be God?"

Castiel leaned back and smiled; repeating words he had said to Dean a long time ago, he whispered, "That's a nice compliment, but no, I'm not God."

Scott looked relieved, but then thought further, "Are you… an angel?"

Castiel nodded slowly, but didn't speak.

Scott was looking at the man across from him as if seeing him for the first time, "Why are you here?"

Castiel looked up in confusion, "In this house?"

Scott cleared his throat, "No, I mean, why are you here on earth?"

"I was sent here to rescue Dean Winchester."

Scott knew Dean Winchester. He'd met him when Emily was baptized. He nodded, but wasn't at all satisfied, "Have you accomplished that mission?"

Castiel looked away, "I saved his life, but I think his wife actually saved his soul." He looked at his friend and continued, "She was handpicked by God."

A little shocked, Scott nodded again, "How long have you been here?"

Castiel thought for a minute; time on earth and time in Heaven and Hell were three totally different things, so he answered, "I rescued Dean on September 18, 2008."

"Rescued him from where?"

"Hell."

"I'm sorry?" Scott was shocked and appalled by that answer. "When you say that, do you mean a hellish place? Or do you mean…?"

"I mean I saved him from perdition. I was sent by God to rescue him from Hell." Castiel got up and moved over to look at the books on a shelf by the door.

Suddenly Scott realized that all of this was way above him, "Can I ask… why he was in Hell?"

Castiel looked back at him, "Because Lilith wanted him there."

Scott nodded and sat there for a moment in thought, "In medieval text, Lilith was thought to be Adam's first wife."

Castiel nodded, "She ran away from Adam and Lucifer turned her into a demon." He turned fully to face the man, "Lilith was the first demon. Sam Winchester destroyed her."

Scott got up from his chair and moved over to the whiskey. He poured himself a drink and shot it back quickly. "Castiel, there's a lot here I don't understand." He thought about another drink, but decided it wasn't a good idea. "Why was Dean Winchester so important? How could a human destroy the first demon, presumably a powerful one?" He turned around to look at the angel in his house.

Castiel smiled at him sadly, "It's a long story, but there are books. One day they will be referred to as the Winchester Gospels. Lily has them. I'll ask her to get them to you."

Scott nodded his head, he blinked his eyes and Castiel was gone.

Moving slowly over to his chair he sat down and put his head in his hands. Rubbing his face a little, he decided to speak to his wife. She had been gone two years, but he still told her things from time to time. He folded one hand over the fist of the other, "Lucy… I think I'm in a little over my head on this one." He sat up, but his eyes were still closed, "I had an angel in my house. I think… I think he's in trouble. I think he's trying to tell me something." He shook his head, "I don't know if I can help him." He paused for a moment, shook his head again and laughed a little, "It occurs to me… maybe this is over your head, too." He bent his head forward and started to pray to God.

Scott Jacobs finished his prayers and then got up from his chair. He looked around the room trying to decide what to do. Then he went to the front door, put on a jacket, picked up his keys and left.


	2. Chapter 2

Bobby, Sam and Dean were just finishing up the hunt they were on; a particularly nasty rugaru. This one had already dined on his wife and an unlucky cousin who was visiting; along with several townspeople. They had decided to take the creature to a shed out back and burn it there, rather than burning it in the house.

When they caught him, he had been happy to tell them all about his little feasts, as he called them. The transformation he had undergone a few months ago had clearly caused him to go mad. Luckily there were no children in the marriage, so they didn't have to worry about legacies.

Another break came with the fact that the house was out in the country and there were no nearby neighbors. So their activities would not be visible. Burning the creature in the shed would also leave behind forensic evidence in the house to explain what had happened to the occupants. The man's wife (what was left of her) was in the kitchen, and what was left of the cousin was upstairs in his bed. Bobby, Sam and Dean had already gone through the house and wiped their fingerprints from whatever surfaces they'd touched.

As they were about to take the thing out back, Bobby's phone beeped an incoming call. Sam and Dean could handle the next part, so Bobby stepped out of the house and answered it.

"Yeah, babe."

"_Hi sweetie, are you nearly done?"_

"Yeah, we should be home later tonight."

"_That's good; I'll have some food waiting for you."_ Lily's voice sounded distracted and a little tense.

"Something wrong?"

"_I don't know, but I'm glad you'll be here soon. We can talk then."_

"Is it the kids?" After he met them, Bobby had started to think of Lily's kids as his, just like Sam and Dean Winchester.

"_No, sweetie, they're fine."_ She paused for a moment, _"Actually… I think its Cas."_

Sam and Dean were coming out of the house with the unconscious and bound creature between them and were watching Bobby. Bobby turned to them and gestured with a finger for them to hold up. "What's wrong with Cas?"

When Bobby said that, Sam and Dean looked at each other. They had noticed something as well, but had been keeping their own counsel about it. They waited for Bobby to tell them what Lily was saying.

"_I don't know what's wrong. Bobby…"_ Lily paused again unsure whether to tell him the next part, but then continued, _"Emily says he's sad."_

"Emily! Lily, she's _two years_ old!"

"_I know that, but Bobby, it's not the first time she's said something like this…"_ Lily was not interested in going into it on the phone, so she just sighed and said, _"Look, I'll see you tonight. We can talk about it then. Love you."_ Then she hung up.

Bobby looked at the boys, "You know, I hate it when she does that." The smile on Bobby's face belied his words. Sam and Dean knew he was stupid in love with the woman.

Dean nodded, "Yeah, we can tell."

Sam just grinned. 'What'd she say about Cas?"

"She said Emily thinks he's sad."

Sam had a confused look on his face, "_Emily_ told her that?"

Bobby just nodded. At that moment, the creature started to stir, so Sam and Dean, with Bobby following, rushed him out to the shed. The next part would not be pretty.

* * *

><p>When she got off the phone with Bobby, Lily went back and sat down at the table with her daughter. Emily had peanut butter on her fingers and face and was steadily finishing her snack. She looked at her mommy and said, "Daddy home soon?"<p>

Lily smiled, "Yeah, Baby, he'll be here later tonight." She grabbed a napkin from the Lazy Susan and wiped Emily's face and hands. "I don't know when, though."

A little later, a car pulled up outside. Thinking it was her boys, Lily didn't look out the window. A moment later, there was a knock. She and Emily were reading a book and at the knock, they looked at each other. Lily kissed Emily's forehead and set her on the floor, and then she got up to get the door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see Pastor Jacobs.

"Pastor!" Lily opened the door wider to let him into the house, "Come in! How can I help you?"

Scott Jacobs came into the house and paused as if embarrassed, "Miss Lily, I, uh…" The pastor was not a man who found himself speechless often, so he stopped for a moment and thought.

Lily gestured him into the kitchen and sat him at the table. She turned and made him a cup of tea and sat down across from him. Emily followed them both and Lily pulled the child onto her lap.

Lily decided to start the conversation to give him more time, "I'm sorry there's no coffee. I don't usually make it when Bobby's not home – I don't drink it."

He looked up at her when she started talking and smiled a little, "I like tea. Thank you." Then he picked up the cup and took a sip and fell silent once again.

Lily was surprised by the visit, but even more surprised by the way the pastor was acting. She had been holding her daughter on her lap, but then Emily decided to get down. She moved over to the pastor and smiled up at him. "Did you see Cas?" she asked.

The pastor looked at the little girl in surprise, "I did."

"Cas is sad" Emily repeated. Then she moved over to her kitchen set and started to play with it.

The pastor watched her for a moment and nodded, "Yes, I believe he is." He looked at Lily with a million questions on his face. "He told me something."

Lily took a deep breath, "What did he tell you?"

"He told me he was an angel." The pastor looked at Lily with an unreadable expression. "He said that he was sent here to rescue Dean Winchester, and then he told me there are books."

Lily was surprised that Cas had told the pastor these things and she thought about why he would have done it. She nodded, "I guess he wants you to know... I'll get copies for you; plus the ones that weren't published and the stuff I've written as well. They'll explain everything." She smiled at him a little, "Are you a fast reader?"

The pastor looked at her in surprise. "So… he's… he's really an angel?"

Lily kept her eyes on him and nodded, "Yes"

The pastor nodded, cleared his throat and tried to speak, "I, uh…" There were tears in his eyes.

Lily reached over and covered his hand with hers. "I met him after he saved my life during an asthma attack. I… had stopped breathing and Bobby was doing mouth to mouth when he came. Someone _sent_ him to save me."

"You have asthma?" The pastor looked surprised.

She looked him in the eye. "Not anymore."

"Who sent him to save you?"

Lily smiled and sat back up; she shrugged, "God, maybe? We knew him as Chuck, but we never did find out who Chuck really was. He never answered the question…"

Pastor Jacobs looked at Lily like he was lost, "Miss Lily, I now have a million and one questions!"

Lily laughed a little at that, "I bet you do. I'll try to answer some of them, but the books will give you what you need." She got up when she heard the sound of her son's car outside. "My boys are home. You're welcome to stay for dinner and we'll tell you some of what we know."

When the boys stepped into the house, they greeted their mom and their sister and then politely greeted the pastor. Because they lived with Bobby, very little surprised them and they acted like having their pastor in the house was an every day occurrence.

As Lily made dinner, the entire family told him stories they had heard about Cas and their own first encounters with him. They did not tell him about Emily's grace, though. None of them felt that was something he needed to know. He would find out in due time anyway, when he read the stories.

While she cooked dinner, Lily had the boys collect the books and all of the unpublished material and place everything in a box. Sam took it out and put it in the pastor's car for him.

As he ate his dinner, Scott watched the interactions of the family; the boys with their mother and sister and Lily's actions toward her children. They were kind and gentle toward each other and especially toward the little girl. Lily would show with gestures and attention how much she loved her children. After dinner, the boys helped their mother clean up and then excused themselves to go finish up their homework. The pastor got up to leave. "Miss Lily, thank you for the meal, it was delicious."

"Thank you, Pastor." Lily picked up Emily and walked the man to the door. As they approached the front door, they both heard the sound of two cars pulling up. Bobby was home and Sam and Dean Winchester were with him.

Lily went to the front door ahead of the pastor and opened it to greet her men. Still holding Emily, she first kissed Bobby and then handed the little girl over to him so she could greet the other two. Bobby, Sam and Dean were surprised when they saw Pastor Jacobs behind Lily.

After hugging the Winchesters, she looked at the three of them and smiled a little, "Castiel told him who and _what_, he was."

Pastor Jacobs was looking at Dean Winchester in a whole new way and Dean noticed it. "What?"

The pastor became visibly embarrassed for having been caught staring and smiled at the younger man. "He told me a little bit about you, too."

"Ah, hell!" Dean winced and turned away from the man and walked past him into the house. Sam looked at the pastor and then went past him after his brother.

Scott Jacobs looked at Lily, "Well, I could have handled that better" he said in embarrassment. They stepped down off the porch. "You know, he also told me that Sam destroyed a demon."

Lily looked at him in surprise, "I guess Cas was feeling chatty today." She stopped in the yard, "Pastor, what he told you about Sam – we'll wanna keep that between us. I'll talk to them and reassure them that you won't tell anyone." She smiled at them, "You know, you're now one of only a small handful of people who honestly know anything about the Winchesters. It's not something the boys want bandied about."

"Well, I certainly don't intend to tell anyone."

"I know. I'll make sure they know, too." She walked him to his car. "Listen, Paster, those books need to be read in order. You need background so that you'll understand Dean and Sam and what really happened." She stopped him, "You need to have a _really_ wide open mind, too. If you have questions, please call me." She moved over to his car and opened his door, "Also… those books are written like fiction, but everything in them actually happened. The writer didn't know…"

Pastor Jacobs nodded at her and got into his car. She waved at him as he drove away. She imagined she would hear from him soon.

She walked back into the house and went into the kitchen to fix the boys something to eat.

All three men followed her. Each of them had questions that needed to be answered. Bobby went first. "Why was he here?"

Lily turned and smiled at him. "Castiel was here for a visit with Emily. He was playing with her and I was talking to him." She paused and changed direction, "Bobby, haven't you noticed that he's got something going on in that head of his?"

Sam spoke up at that. "Dean and I did."

Lily nodded at him. "Bobby, I think Castiel is in trouble."

"In heaven? With the Boss?"

She shook her head, "No, I think... with himself." She turned back around to finish making their dinner. "He was here for only a few minutes and then he was gone. You all know he usually stays hours. Anyway, apparently, he went to the pastor's house. I get the feeling he goes there sometimes to talk."

"He told the pastor about me." Dean was looking unhappy about that.

"Yes, but I don't know exactly what he said. Dean, the pastor was wigged out. He came out here because Castiel told him I had the books. Scott isn't going to say anything. You know that."

"Ah jeez! Again with the books!" Dean looked at Sam. Sam didn't look too happy about it, either.

"I gave him everything. The books, the unpublished stuff and… the stuff I wrote." Lily looked at Bobby and he nodded.

"I guess it's time they knew." He said.

She took a deep breath, "Guys I've had all of Chuck's writings this whole time. I have his computer, too."

"I wondered," Sam muttered.

"Wait a minute!" Dean stood up, "What do you mean the stuff _you_ wrote?" Dean knew better than to get in her face, so he just started to pace.

"I took over from Chuck. It started shortly after you visited the first time. I picked up the story from the moment Sam returned topside. Chuck ended _his_ story with Sam's fall and I think that's when he disappeared."

"You wrote it down?" Sam was looking at Lily. Dean was pacing around the kitchen. Bobby had his eyes on Dean because he was clearly upset. Although Lily had never actually told him, it wasn't a surprise; he knew what she had been doing.

Lily nodded at Sam and then looked at Bobby. Then she glanced over at Dean.

"What did you write?" Sam looked at her nervously.

Lily looked back at Sam, "Everything. Sam… I kn… everything."

Dean whirled around "You wrote that down?"

Lily nodded.

Dean pointed a finger at Lily, "He is _never_ to see that!"

"I know that Dean. I didn't even give it to the pastor." Lily looked at Sam, "I wrote it down, but I didn't print it… I've _never_ printed it; I keep it in a password protected file."

Slightly mollified, Dean sat down again.

Sam looked at Lily with a perplexed look on his face, "Why did you write it down, then?"

Lily walked over to Sam and put a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know why it had to be written. All I know is that I couldn't get past it. I kept seeing the images over and over. So I thought, maybe if I write it down, it'll stop; and it did. Something similar happened with the stuff Chuck didn't put into the stories. He kept insisting I needed to see all of it. I don't think, at the time, even _he_ knew why I had to see it."

Dean was looking at her with a perplexed expression, "What other stuff?"

Sam and Lily exchanged a look. Lily just shrugged, so Sam sighed and answered, "Chuck left some things about me out of his stories. He told me that it would make me look 'unsympathetic'." He looked down at the table while he spoke.

Dean was looking angry, "The demon blood."

Lily interjected before any arguments could start, "That stuff was in a locked file on Chuck's computer and I can't get at it. When he gets to the unpublished manuscripts, it could be confusing for Scott, but… after awhile Chuck just couldn't keep it out of the books. All of the stuff Sam did is revealed in the document Chuck entitled, 'The Rapture'. That one was about the time you met Jimmy Novak and his wife and daughter."

Lily went back to the stove and started dishing out the food. She put the plates in front of the men. "Dean, Sam" Lily sat down beside Bobby. "I don't have the password to my locked files, either."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked. He didn't start eating, but Bobby and Dean did.

"I wrote a sequence of 16 random letters and numbers, used at least one symbol and put some of the letters in capital. I copied and pasted the password into the box and then I deleted it. This was over a year ago; I couldn't replicate it if I tried."

Dean looked at Lily, "Why didn't you just delete the file?"

"I tried that." Lily smiled at him, but it was a painful one. "The flashes started again."

"Do they hurt? The flashes?" Sam still hadn't started to eat; clearly he was upset about this turn of events.

"No." Lily smiled at him and looked pointedly at his plate. "I know it caused Chuck agonizing headaches, but I never had so much as a twinge. Well… until I deleted the file. I got a headache then, so I knew I had to restore it."

Sam was watching her, "Are you a prophet?"

Lily smiled and shook her head, "I don't think so. I wasn't getting many images of the future, I usually just got images of what had already happened. At the most, maybe I'm a scribe."

"Do you still write about us?" Sam picked up his fork and was twirling it in his hand, but he didn't use it.

"No, not lately…" Lily put her hand on Sam's and she looked him in the eye, "The last time I wrote about you and your brother was about three months ago – Emily's second birthday. It felt like the end." She let go of his hand and smiled. In a singsong voice, she said, "If you eat your dinner, I'll send those pages to your email."

Sam chuckled a little at her attempt at humour and started to eat. Lily stood up and gripped Bobby's shoulder, and then she left the room.

Dean watched his brother. There were occasions when Sam broached the subject of his missing year and a half; he still wanted to know what happened. Dean always talked him out of it, though. The fact that the entire time was written down somewhere made Dean nervous. "Sam, you're gonna leave that file alone, right?"

Sam nodded; he didn't look his brother in the eye, though.

Bobby agreed with Dean and he was watching Sam closely. If he had to, he'd replace Lily's computer and put her current one under lock and key; along with Chuck's.

A few minutes later, Lily came back into the kitchen, "Sam, I know you have the skills to get that file. So I want you to know something." She paused for effect and smiled at him. It was a rather unpleasant smile, though, "If you decide to try and break into my computer to see that file – I will be _very_ put out with you. I will make your life a misery. Do you think I can't?"

Bobby and Dean were smiling a little, but didn't look up. Lily _could_ make Sam's life a misery and they all knew it.

Sam looked at Lily nervously, he swallowed, "I know you could."

"Good, that's all we need to say on the matter, then." Lily moved over to the stove to get more food. "The last pages I wrote have been sent to your email account. Eat the rest of this. I don't like leftovers."

She cleaned the kitchen while they finished their meals and then she went back upstairs. Emily was probably asleep on one of the boy's beds and she needed to move the child into her own room.

Then she and Bobby could have a talk about Emily.

* * *

><p>Later that night, when the rest of the house was asleep, Lily broached the first subject.<p>

"You didn't seem surprised by what I told the boys tonight. I suspected that you might know." She looked at Bobby as he got undressed for bed. "Are you angry I didn't tell you?"

He shook his head, "Not really, I've known pretty much from the get-go."

"How?" Lily pulled a nightie on over her body.

"Well, I didn't look at your computer or nothing, but I just suspected. You were doing a lot of writing, but not sending much to your editor."

Lily nodded, "Thank you for not being mad." She walked over to him and kissed him. "You're very protective of your boys and I guess I just thought it would be better if you and they didn't know.

He started to kiss her back, but she pulled away smiling, "Later – now we have to discuss Emily..."

* * *

><p>Early the next morning, before anyone else was up; Lily made Sam and Dean some breakfast. They then started the last leg of their journey home. While they were in the car, Sam read the pages Lily sent him. When he was done, they traded places and Sam drove while Dean read them.<p>

They didn't have much to say about it, but both were aware that Blair hadn't told anyone but Dean about her pregnancy and Sarah hadn't even been aware yet that she was. So finding out that Lily knew was bewildering.

"She's legit." Dean had just finished reading. What he read wasn't that bad and like Lily said, if felt like the end. "What do you think?"

Sam nodded. "I don't know… I do think we'd better ask her for the rest of the books. The last stuff that Chuck wrote and everything she did."

"Except the locked file," Dean reiterated.

Sam sighed in exasperation. "Yes, Dean, I know. I won't ask for the locked file."

"You're scared of her." Dean smirked.

Sam responded with a bitch face, "Yeah, well, so are you."

"Damn skippy I am!"

They drove for a long while in silence, but when they approached Sam and Sarah's home, they looked at each other. Dean, who was driving again, sighed, "I'll call Cas when I get home; see if I can get anything out of him."

Sam nodded, "Call me if you find out anything."

"Will do."

Sam got out of the car and walked away.

**AN: I've gone over this chapter approximately 562,749 times (or thereabouts). If there are mistakes, well crap. I have no excuse...  
>Thanks,<br>Sali**


	3. Chapter 3

When he arrived home, Dean looked around the house for his wife and finally found a note on the refrigerator.

_Hey, Babe,  
>Sarah and I are shopping.<br>Back soon. Love ya._

Because the women were out, this seemed like a good time to call Cas and see if he could get anything out of him.

"Hey Cas? Can you come here? I need to talk to you."

"Hello, Dean."

Dean whirled around and looked at his friend. Castiel's tie was loose, his coat was starting to look a little threadbare and his suit was wrinkled. He looked tired and worn out, which didn't make sense since angels didn't need rest. "Jeesh, Cas! What the hell's the matter with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You look like a mess!"

Castiel looked down at himself and sighed, "I'm fine."

"You are… far from fine. Cas, Lily told us that you left fast, that you didn't stay and visit with Emily for very long."

"I was called away."

Dean looked at him, "By whom? Sam or Bobby?"

Cas wasn't looking at Dean, "Sam called me."

"Nuh uh, try again, Sam was with me; so was Bobby." Dean didn't like that Cas was back to lying. He thought they were done with that.

Castiel locked his jaw and looked away. "By…" Cas then just shrugged and stopped talking.

"Dammit Cas! Are we back to lying?"

"No, I…"

"'Cause if that's the way this is going…" Dean growled.

"Dean…" Castiel's face betrayed him; he looked lost.

Instantly, Dean was worried. "Cas, seriously, what's wrong?" Dean was standing in front of his friend. He put his hand on Cas' shoulder, "_Talk_ to me!"

Castiel sighed, "It's Jimmy" He prevaricated. Cas didn't look at Dean when he spoke. He pulled away from Dean's hand.

Dean knew this wasn't it, but he went along, "Your vessel? What about him?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Alarmed Dean asked, "Is he still in there? Is he aware?"

Castiel shook his head. "I can't tell anymore. I haven't felt his presence for a long time. Not since the year before you and your brother were reunited."

"Have you tried? Did you feel him after you were resurrected at Stull Cemetery?"

"Yes, I could tell he was still there when I was brought back; and no I haven't tried lately."

"Why not?" He ran his hand over his face, "Cas, doesn't he have to be there to maintain the body? Otherwise, you'll burn out of him; right? So he's probably still there…"

Castiel didn't answer him. He was looking at the ground. "He could be a drooling mess like Raphael's vessel was." Cas was recalling the night they trapped Raphael, "I never intended to leave Jimmy like that."

"Cas, the minute you leave that body, Jimmy will die. You _know_ that. He wouldn't be a drooling mess for long."

"I know, but I always knew he was paying attention."

"He was? He told Sam and me that he couldn't remember much."

"After I left Clare and took him again, he started to pay more attention. I could tell if I left him again, he wanted to be able to help you as much as possible before he died…" Castiel moved over to a chair and sat down. "Even after I was smote, twice, he came back with me and he remained attentive. The year you were out and Sam was with Samuel, he started to retreat and now, I can't tell if he's aware or not."

Dean could actually feel the shame and guilt pouring from the angel. Softly, he asked, "Why? Why do you think he retreated?"

Castiel didn't answer.

Dean tried again, "Cas, we know most of what happened during that time; this is something else. What _else_ happened?"

For a long moment, Dean didn't think Cas would answer. He waited and finally Castiel shook his head, "I can't… I don't want... There's nothing to say." He couldn't look at Dean_**.**_

"I think there is. I think there's plenty to say and you need to get it out." Dean was watching his friend's face. For a split second, he thought Cas would talk, but then, in an instant, he was gone.

"Dammit!" Dean pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number.

"_Yeah?"_

"We need to find a way to clip the angel's wings – _without_ using holy fire."

"_Why can't we use holy fire?"_

"It seems hostile to me. The last time we trapped him it was to confront him. This can't seem like that. We have to figure out something else."

"_Ya __wanna __clip __his __wings __permanently?" _Bobby asked.

"No! Not permanently! But he just zipped out of here and I still don't know what's going on!" He ran his hand through his hair. "It maybe has something to do with what happened in the year before Sam came and got me. Or… or maybe what happened that next year… I don't know." As he was talking he picked up his keys and left the house again.

"_Well, __we __know __some __of __it. __You're __gonna __have __to __come __back __at __some __point. __We'll __brainstorm __and __see __what __we __can __figure __out. __You __call __Sam, __Sarah __and __Blair; __plan __to __get __them __all __here. __Lily __may __also __have __some __ideas. __We __may __have __to __wait __for __the __pastor __to __catch __up, __though. __Meanwhile, __I'll __look __and __see __if __there's __anything __that'll __hold __him __temporarily."_

"The pastor?"

_"Yeah, he's starting to read the books. He may have some ideas that could help us."_

Dean sighed, "Thanks, Bobby." Dean ended the call and got into The Impala for the ride back to Sam's house. He would wait there for his wife. Blair's car was gone, so she was driving. He hadn't seen it at Sam and Sarah's house. As he pulled out, he thought about his friend; he hated that Cas was in trouble and he couldn't figure out how to help him. He was also a little upset that he hadn't gotten a chance to ask him about Lily.

For the next two weeks, Bobby stayed home and handled phone calls for other hunters and researched ways to trap Castiel without harming him or using holy fire. His knowledge of Enochian was improving daily. Lily was helping as much as she could, but she was up against a deadline with her publisher and needed to work on her book.

She and Bobby kept discussing whether or not Emily should go to a day care for a few hours a day so that Lily could work uninterrupted. They were circling around the idea and coming back to the fact that by the time they set something up, the problem would have resolved itself.

When they had moved to Sioux Falls, Lily had decided, with her son's agreement, that Dean would be accelerated to the same grade as Sam. While they were being homeschooled, Dean had caught up with his older brother and they had been doing the same lessons for the last few years anyway; so both boys were in 10th grade.

Having them in the same grade meant that they were treated as twins. They only had a few classes together and a lot of their school work was the same. Both boys were smart, but Dean was in a few classes designed for gifted students. Sam's interests were more mechanical than academic, but he took a special engineering class. Because they were in special programs, neither Sam nor Dean was able to be home early enough to help with their sister much. In the evening, though, they kept Lily with them as much as possible considering their homework load.

School was winding down though and once they got past their finals, the boys would be able to help Bobby and Lily. Sam could help with the car repair work that Bobby did to bring in money. Dean could help with the research, and both boys could help with Emily, but for now, life in the Singer/Remington household remained hectic.

Meanwhile, Lily received calls from Pastor Jacobs almost daily. He would call with questions about the Winchester Gospels. Lily remembered his first call; which came the morning after she had given him the books.

"_Hello?"_

"_Miss Lily, its Scott Jacobs."_

"_Hello Pastor, how can I help you?"_

"_I… finished the first book."_

"_Yeah, Chuck's books read a little easy…"_

"_I've heard you mention that name before…who's Chuck?"_

"_That's Carver Edlund's real name."_

"_Oh… but you mentioned that Chuck might be God?"_

"_Well, you're getting a little ahead of yourself, there, Pastor."_

"_Oh."_

"_Did you have a question?"_

"_Yes, um, Mary Winchester and Jessica Moore… they both died in a fire?"_

_Lily cleared her throat. It was a good thing the pastor wasn't asking the Winchesters these questions… "Yes, they did."_

"_Since you told me that these events really happened, I went on the internet and looked both names up. They died on the same date twenty-two years apart."_

"_Yes."_

"_Is that a coincidence?"_

"_Pastor, I don't know if I should answer your question or not. On the one hand, you need to read the books, but on the other hand, it's not pertinent that you enjoy them… So do I answer the question and spoil the story or…?"_

"_Ah yes, I see what you mean. I'll continue to read then. I'm sure I'll call again."_

_Lily smiled a little, "It's no problem, Pastor, call anytime you want."_

After that call, there was a guest pastor leading the services on Sunday. Scott Jacobs remained holed up in his house for two weeks reading the gospels and learning everything he could. He called Lily at least once a day and occasionally talked to Bobby, as well. His questions got more involved as he went through the manuscripts. He was doing research on the internet as he read the stories and beginning to think he'd been blind to all the bad things that these people found so easily. Both Lily and Bobby patiently answered his questions and they both sadly agreed that he was catching on _fast_.

Finally, he finished all of the books and all of the unpublished material. His head was spinning with the knowledge that monsters, ghosts, demons, and even fairies really existed. That there were men and women out there whose sole purpose in life was protecting an unknowing humanity from these creatures and that these people put their lives on the line every day. He was humbled by and grateful to all of them.

He had a new and profound respect for Bobby, the Winchesters and Lily and her boys as well. He finally understood exactly what had happened to Lily's entire family.

Now that he knew everything that had happened, he was ready to join the fight and help as much as he was able to. He couldn't fight the monsters in the world. He was too old and he didn't have the skills needed, but he felt he was more than capable of helping to fight the monsters within. He would start with Castiel.

The following month Lily had met her editor's deadline, school was out for the summer and they finally arrived at a plan to safely trap Castiel and confront him. Because they knew that Castiel had spied on them before, no one spoke out loud of their worries and ideas. So it was only after many emails and coded phone calls that they had finally concocted a plan. Bobby had figured out the Enochian language enough to feel that certain symbols would contain the angel in a room. He just needed to decide which room it would be.

The house had been deemed too small for the number of people who would be there. Blair and Sarah needed some protection and distance from the angel and their husband's attempts to keep them out of it entirely only resulted in arguments. Everyone agreed that Cas was sure to become angry and the women needed to be further away from him than the others. Lily also wanted her sons to have some distance as well; although they scoffed at her attempts to protect them. It was Dean Remington who suggested the barn.

Bobby's garage/barn had garage doors and windows and a single door, but no other exits. So it had been fixed up for the trap that Bobby had devised. There were Enochian symbols all over the walls, doors, windows and ceiling. (The ones on the ceiling had been painted by the Remington boys while Lily was in the house, so she wouldn't freak out.) Bobby suggested that the symbols be painted in the same paint he had used to trap Crowley when he was trying to get his soul back. Hopefully, Castiel wouldn't see, or somehow sense, the symbols until they turned on the black lights Bobby set up.

The trap would be sprung when the door closed behind him. The symbols on the door were the lock. Only opening the door again would unlock it and only a human could do it. They all agreed that using holy oil seemed hostile, but they had some in the barn just in case.

Because Castiel had mentioned in passing that he knew exactly where Emily was at all times, and that he always knew her condition, they knew that she would not make good 'bait' for the trap. Besides, she was too young to understand what was happening and it felt wrong to use her as a lure. A very reliable babysitter was called upon. Emily and Jody Mills would stay in the house.

Finally the day came for them to put their plan into action. After the barn was prepared and Jody arrived, Lily and Bobby moved everyone into the barn. Lily stayed outside and called Castiel.

"Cas! I need your help! It's Bobby!"

Behind her a voice asked, "What's wrong?"

Lily whirled around and looked at the angel that had appeared behind her. In the short time since she'd seen him last, she was shocked to discover that he looked so much worse. Angels never needed to sleep and their clothes never needed repair or to be cleaned, but Cas was a wreck.

Trying not to be distracted by his appearance, Lily continued with the façade, "Cas! Bobby is in the barn."

Cas moved toward the door and paused in the doorway, "Why is it dark in here?"

Taking him by surprise, Lily pushed him further into the barn, closed the door and said, "Because we didn't want you to see this."

Bobby switched on the black lights.

Cas stood there for a moment and didn't say anything. He was looking around at the symbols and sigils painted all over the walls. While he was looking at all of the painted signs, everyone moved into the center of the room and waited. They fanned out in a half circle in front of him. He looked at them and then he turned around and walked over to the door. The symbols on the door prevented him from opening it and he knew it. He turned back around.

"Release me." He spoke calmly

"No." Sam answered just as calm.

"Release me!" Cas spoke with intensity.

"No!" Dean growled.

Castiel lowered his head and suddenly the room was dark again, but thunder and lightning flashed. He spread his wings in an act of extreme intimidation. For the third time, Castiel demanded, "Release me." His voice was low and full of anger, but they could still hear him.

Sam and Dean Winchester had moved in front of their wives in an attempt to protect them. Sarah and Blair were clinging to each other. Sam and Dean Remington had each taken a step back. They looked at each other, though and silently agreed not to go further. Instead, they moved to flank the pastor who was trying not to cower. Lily and Bobby had joined hands. "NO!" Lily shouted to be heard over the sounds of thunder. "We can't!" Tears had started in her eyes, "We won't!"

Castiel saw the tears and the fear in her eyes. Abruptly, the thunder stopped; the light restored. He looked at these people who had trapped him; these people he had frightened. Only Sam and Dean had seen his wings before, but even they were full of fear and awe. All he felt at that moment was more shame.

"Where's Emily Claire?" He looked around; he couldn't tell where she was through the sigils. "I don't have contact with her." He sounded worried.

"She's in the house with Jody Mills." Lily walked up to him. "You know how much she loves Emily." She grabbed Castiel's arm. "Emily is taking her nap and Jody is sitting in the room with her. That's the safest room in the house outside of the panic room; she's fine." Then she held up a baby monitor. "We can hear them, but they can't hear us."

Castiel looked at her. "Why have you trapped me?"

Lily wiped her eyes, "Because you've been acting more and more…" She took a deep breath, "Something is wrong and you won't tell us what it is. You keep winging away when we ask. We're only here to help you."

"Dude, this is an intervention." Dean walked toward his friend.

**AN: Mele Kalikimaka, Happy Christmas, Joyeux Noel, God Jul, Merry Christmas, Boas Festas, Happy Hanukkah, Seasons Greetings!  
>Sali<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel looked at him, "I don't know what that means."

"It means you aren't leaving until you talk." Dean walked over to his wife and took her hand, "You have to tell us what's wrong. We can't help you until you do."

Castiel looked at him, "No."

"Why not?"

Castiel wouldn't look at any of them. He picked a point on the wall and just stared at it.

"Talk to us!" Lily implored.

Cas remained silent.

Dean got a chair for Blair and Sam got one for Sarah. He had a feeling that they were going to be there awhile.

After twenty minutes of silence from Cas and everyone else trying to get him to talk, Dean had had enough. "Cas, come on! We're your family."

Castiel winced when he said that.

Dean saw his expression and it gave him an idea. It was seriously sappy, but it might work. He got up and walked over to Sam and gestured to everyone else. "I have an idea."

He looked his brother in the eye, trying to communicate without words, "Sam, who is Castiel?"

Sam stared at his brother for a moment and then he nodded. He looked at Castiel, "He's our brother."

Silently, Dean thanked him and turned to Sarah and Blair. "Who is Castiel?"

Blair answered, "He's our brother – the one we want to help."

Dean turned around and looked at the Remington boys, "Who is Castiel?"

Sam Remington answered first, "He's our baby sister's godfather."

Dean Remington continued, "Doesn't that make him our 'goduncle'?"

Lily laughed at that and nodded to her boys. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Castiel was starting to pay attention.

Dean turned to the pastor, "Who is Castiel?"

Scott Jacobs had been thinking about his answer the minute he figured out what Dean was trying to do. "He's… my friend and I want to help him."

Dean turned to Lily. She shook her head, silently telling him she wanted to go last.

Dean nodded and turned to Bobby, "Bobby, who is Castiel?"

Bobby had also been thinking about the angel and who Castiel was to him, "He's the one who saved you and… all of us. I'm just so damn grateful and I don't know how to tell him… Just like you two boys and Lily's boys and Emily, he's… mine."

Dean looked at Bobby and unspoken words passed between them. Bobby had never told Castiel thanks for saving Dean or himself. After a moment, Dean turned to Lily. He cleared his throat, "Lily, who is Castiel?"

Lily moved over in front of the angel and waited until he looked at her. In a voice thick with emotion, she said, "He's brother, and son, and uncle, and friend – he's… _family_."

Castiel had been listening to these answers. He looked at Lily who was standing in front of him. Even though he believed them, he didn't think they would be able to forgive him.

Lily took his hands, "Castiel, tell _me_ what happened."

"You don't want to know…" he whispered.

Lily smiled through her tears, "Maybe not, but you need to say it anyway."

Cas just stood there staring at her. Finally, he spoke, "I told you that I'm the one who raised you from hell, Sam." Castiel couldn't look at Sam as he said that. He continued to look at Lily.

Sam nodded, "Yeah."

Castiel still didn't look at him, "When you asked if I left your soul there on purpose, I answered no."

Sam answered, "I didn't believe you."

This made Castiel look him, "I know. I don't blame you. I had done nothing but lie to you or ignore you for months."

Sarah got up and moved over to grab Sam's hand.

Sam cleared his throat, "Did you?" He looked at his wife and then back to Castiel, "Did you leave my soul there on purpose?"

Castiel's hands were still in Lily's. He shook his head, "No. I went alone… so I was sneaking and… in a hurry. I had no backup. When I went for Dean, I had several angels with me. I was arrogant and careless when I went for you." He paused for a moment, "I was trying to give you back to Dean."

He paused for a moment and then sighed, "I was there when you got to Lisa's house. I waited while you stood outside and watched Dean through the window. Then I watched you walk away. That moment… I missed the fact that something was very wrong."

Sam and Dean exchanged a look; one of apology from Sam and one of understanding from Dean. Sam didn't remember the incident and Dean understood that. Sam turned to Castiel and nodded. "Okay, I believe you."

"Cas…" Dean's expression was a mixture of gratitude and pity. "What happened then?"

Cas shrugged, "You know some of it. I was fighting a civil war in Heaven and Raphael was more powerful. He was winning. I knew if he won he would find a way to release Lucifer and Michael and restart the apocalypse. I needed help and was just about to come to you, Dean. I didn't want to, though, I didn't want to bring you back into it. So I was standing there watching you, wishing I could just... _talk_ to you and Crowley came and… he offered to help me… he had an idea." Castiel was not looking at anyone; he just stared at the wall.

Once he'd started to talk, Lily had returned to Bobby's side.

Dean was looking at his friend, "Purgatory."

Cas nodded, "He offered me a bribe."

"What kind of bribe would work with you?"

"Souls"

"Dammit, Cas… What did he offer you?"

Castiel looked at Dean, "50,000 souls."

Dean was surprised, "Well, Balthazar said that in this economy souls were really the only thing of value." Then he thought for a moment, "Was that when you lost contact with Jimmy?"

Castiel just nodded, "I accepted his 'bribe'. I went back to Heaven coursing with the power of 50,000 souls. It didn't matter to me that Jimmy retreated in the onslaught of the damned things, because I… liked it. I _liked_ the power. So I didn't do anything about Jimmy. I was now able to hold my own with Raphael and the other angels were ready to follow me. I felt unstoppable – a superman! Like you said… There was no kryptonite, though. Only one thing would stop me. And it wasn't you, Dean. I wasn't going to listen to you."

Dean looked at Castiel with sorrow, of the reminder that he'd nearly lost a friend – a brother. "I remember. So what did stop you?"

"Lily"

Bobby and Lily both looked up at that. "What?" Lily was looking at him in surprise. "How did _I_ stop you? I didn't even know you then! And I didn't know what you were doing!"

"Do you remember that morning? The first day I was in your house?"

Lily nodded.

"You didn't like that I was there. I could tell you didn't trust me."

"I don't remember not trusting you." Lily smiled at him, "All I remember is that you saved my life. I was reeling from that knowledge and from other things as well."

Castiel nodded, "You could barely look at me. You seemed alarmed that I was there at all. All you said directly to me was 'Thank you'. Then you walked away without looking at me again. You may not have known it, but distrust was one of the emotions you were feeling. Even then, you knew things… you've been calling them 'flashes of intuition' this whole time, but it was the grace and its effect was… instantaneous."

"So… the fact that Lily didn't trust you is what stopped you?" Bobby was still holding Lily's hand.

"I am Castiel; she knew who I was, but she didn't trust me. She _should_ have; she _should_ have seen me as a friend. It was… shocking. I took it as… a sign."

Dean looked up at that, "A sign?"

"One I had asked for." He looked at Dean, "I came to you in the night. You asked me to stop what I was doing and… I refused."

Dean nodded, "I remember."

"I left. I winged away and stopped at a park bench somewhere and I confessed everything I had done to God. I begged him for a sign." He paused, "I didn't get one. So I continued on – until an unknown angel told me to go to Bobby and save the girl."

Bobby wanted to clarify, "You think Lily was the sign?"

Cas nodded his head, "Not just Lily, though, but the angel I had never seen before. We know now he was Chuck, but then I thought… it might be God. He gave me something to do; he gave me a direction to go… it was back toward you."

Lily was watching him. She could see that he still felt shame for all he had done, "Cas… all of that is to your credit. You stopped. Why are you beating yourself up over this?"

"It wasn't in time! It allowed Crowley to move on Dean's family."

Dean looked at his wife, worried that she would be hurt by this, but she nodded in understanding. He turned to Castiel, "Lisa and Ben."

Castiel nodded, "They nearly died because I didn't stop Crowley. You lost them because I didn't protect them."

Suddenly Castiel was talking faster as if he needed to spew everything out, "I spent almost two years lying and fighting, ignoring you, I made a deal with a demon. I lost contact with Jimmy. I killed an angel that had been helping me. I lost another friend. I put Samuel back on earth and didn't stop him, either. I left Sam in a field with no memory of how he got there and I ignored his calls for help. I carelessly brought him back without his soul. I didn't do enough to get it back for him – I could have gone and gotten it! Although I still stand by what I said then; his soul _was_ a mess…"

Sam interrupted, "What do you mean 'was'?"

Castiel paused and smiled a little. He looked directly at Sam, "Chuck had you fighting your enemies and yourself. How many times did you loose consciousness?"

"I don't know – I lost count." He looked at his brother, "Do you know how many times you did?"

Dean looked at him, "Sam, I never lost consciousness."

Sam looked at him perplexed. He turned back around to Castiel, "Why?"

"Chuck was piecing your soul back together and reinforcing the wall."

"_Why_?" Sam repeated.

"Do you _really_ want to know what you did all that time? Or what Lucifer and Michael did your soul?"

"I have an idea." Sam looked worried and a little ashamed. Sarah gripped his hand a little tighter. He looked at her; saw the love in her eyes and was once again able to forgive himself.

Castiel nodded, "There's more of that and it's behind the wall. You wouldn't be able to knock it down now if you wanted to; it's stone and steel – almost unbreakable. It's best you understand that you lost a year and a half of your life; you accept it and you leave it alone." He paused for a moment, "You were unconscious because touching a soul is… unpleasant."

Bobby grunted at the understatement.

Cas continued, "Chuck kept you unconscious because even though he has a lighter touch, he didn't want you fighting him."

Dean was watching his brother and realized Sam needed time to work on this new information, "What angel did you kill?

Castiel looked at Dean. The expression in his eyes was sad. "Do you remember Rachel?

"Yeah, is she the one?"

Castiel nodded, "I killed her."

"Oh."

"She turned on me... before… we fought and I killed her. It happened while you were in the past." He turned to Bobby, "She wounded me and in order to bring back Sam and Dean, I had to touch your soul."

Bobby looked worried, "Is it damaged?"

"No." Cas shook his head, "Your soul is very strong."

"Okay." No harm had been done and Bobby let it go. "No harm, no foul."

Dean had more questions. "After you came and saved Lisa… and took their memories, I didn't see you for months. Eventually, we figured out you had stopped, but what were you doing?"

"I had to stop Crowley and punish him for what he did to Lisa and Ben, and to you."

Dean shrugged, "Again, that's a good thing."

"He had aligned himself with Raphael though, and the two of them were continuing in the pursuit of Purgatory."

Dean nodded.

"I had retreated in the civil war against Raphael. I couldn't purge the souls that Crowley gave me because I would have been defenseless. God hadn't made an appearance yet, so I was trying to stop them from opening Purgatory and I was throwing up blocks as much as I could to slow them down. I kept them from killing Doctor Visyak..."

Dean interrupted him, "Why?"

"Her blood was a main component in the spell that would have opened the door."

Bobby nodded, "Thank you. I wondered where she was. Is she safe now?"

Castiel nodded. "I… marked her ribs and hid her in a remote area of Tibet, until the danger passed. She's back at her home now."

Bobby nodded, "You know Cas, everything you've said here tonight… well, none of it's unforgivable. Its stuff we've all done in one way or another. So I still don't know why you're beating yourself up like this."

Lily was looking at the angel, "Cas, is… Rachel what's been wrong?"

"No, I feel bad about Rachel, but it was war…" Castiel still looked saddened.

Lily moved back over to him, "Then there's something else. What friend did you loose?"

"It was Balthazar. He'd been helping me, but... he's dead. Raphael killed him."

Sam, Dean and Bobby walked toward him. They all understood the loss of a brother, son, friend. Dean reached him first. He placed his hand on Castiel's neck. "Ah, hell, Cas, why didn't you tell us? Of anybody on earth or in heaven… we would have understood. We could have helped you!"

Castiel shook off Dean's hand and moved away from them. "I didn't tell you because of my shame."

"What?"

For a moment, Castiel didn't answer. Then he asked, "What were you going to do when you left the hospital Lisa was in?"

Sam answered, "Our next step was to find Eleanor. I guess you had her by then, because we couldn't find her, so because we were so close, we decided to go find out about Chuck."

Castiel nodded, "I did have her, but she wasn't safe from me until the moment I left Lily's house. I had taken her prisoner a few days before."

Bobby's voice held concern for the woman, "Did you hurt her?"

Cas shook his head, "Crowley did and I would have, but we were waiting for the eclipse and her blood needed to be fresh. She also had information about how to open the door. After I left Lily, I rescued her from Crowley, healed her and then hid her _before_ she broke."

Sam looked at him, "Cas, that's a _good_ thing you did. So what is it? What's tearing you up inside?"

Castiel was looking from Dean to Sam to Bobby, "Before Lily… my next step… my great plan… was to distract you from trying to stop me."

All three men just waited; somehow they knew this was the crux of the problem and they weren't going to like it.

"I didn't want to kill you."

Dean nodded slowly never taking his eyes from the angel.

Castiel stopped for a moment and just looked at Dean. He knew this was his last glimpse of him; he had already decided that he would never come near any of them again. "I was going to bring down the wall in Sam's mind."

He turned again to the door and walked over to it. With his back to them he asked, "_Now_ will you let me go?"


	5. Chapter 5

Everyone stood where they were – stunned. The ramifications of what Castiel had almost done were staggering. No one moved toward the door, though. A decision had to be made.

Scott Jacobs was the first to move. Because of the books and Lily's writings, he knew what Castiel meant about the wall, but it didn't affect him nearly as much as it would the others. So he was able to think a little more clearly. He stood behind Cas and asked, "If we let you out, will we ever see you again?"

Castiel did not turn around. "No."

Scott continued his questions, "Even if one of us calls for you?"

Quietly, Cas shook his head, "No."

"It's not up to me to make the decision, but I don't think you should leave just yet."

Hearing that, Dean turned to them, "Oh, Hell no!" He stalked over, "You don't get to leave!" He growled in Castiel's face.

Castiel still didn't look at him, but he nodded his head and sighed. The pastor put his hand on the angel's back and urged him away from the door while Dean went back to his discussion with his brother and Bobby.

Lily, Sarah and Blair joined the Winchesters and Bobby, while Sam and Dean Remington joined the pastor and Cas. The two groups were on opposite sides of the barn. With a sigh, Bobby switched the lights from the black lights to normal. Even though they weren't visible, the sigils still worked.

Sam, Dean and the pastor were silent. None of them knew what to say to the angel so they just listened to the others.

Dean was pacing around in a circle, running his hands through his hair, "This is… this is… – I don't even know what to say or… or _do_!"

Sam tried to interrupt his brother's tirade, "Dean –"

Dean looked at him with wild eyes, not really seeing him, "No! We trusted him! He knew what would happen! Hell! He's one of the ones who warned us! Death warned us! If the wall came down, you could die - or... or worse!"

Sam tried again, "Dean –"

"He's been like a brother to us! To even _think_…"

Finally, Sam shouted, "Dean!"

Finally, Dean heard his brother, "What?" he shouted back.

Sam sighed, "He was going for the weakest link. It's what we all would have done. We all would have taken any opportunity presented to us if it got us what we wanted."

Dean looked at his brother angrily, "Sam, you are not the weakest link!"

Sam looked back at him, "I was then." He moved over to his brother and put his hands on Dean's shoulders. "I was angry and scared and… and mentally fragile; any reminder of the missing year would send me to the ground writhing with memories of fire and pain."

"That's what I'm talking about! It could have killed you, Sammy! Or at best, it could have left you a hallucinating-mental case! At worst, you could have been a vegetable!" Dean paused, his throat thickening, his voice hoarse, "Cas just confessed that he was going to destroy you!"

"We don't know that! The key word there is 'could'. And anyway… he didn't do it! He stopped in time!"

Dean looked at his brother, incredulous, "Are you _defending_ him?"

Sam sighed and gave his brother a pained smile, "He's our brother now; we just claimed him. I have to." He turned away and went over to Sarah. He was looking at her and in her face he saw love and pride. She hugged him and brought his face down for a gentle kiss.

Blair moved over to Dean, "Dean, Sam's right."

Dean couldn't believe his wife, "What?"

"We've all read the books… you've placed your brother in harm's way and he's done the same to you. You've both used openings that were given to you, despite the effect it has had on yourself, your brother or _anyone_ else."

Dean was standing over his wife and yelled, "Name one time!"

Blair wasn't intimidated by him looming over her. She paused in thought for just a moment, "Meg."

Dean was surprised, "That demon bitch? When is that a bad thing?"

Blair shook her head, "No, not the demon bitch; the girl."

"What?" He whispered, suddenly filled with old guilt. He remembered the girl and the smack down she delivered to him when Lilith brought her back as a witness. The one he always secretly felt he deserved.

"Remember? She was dying and you were questioning her." Blair put her hand on Dean's arm silently letting him know that she understood. She looked into Dean's eyes, "If I had been in your place, I would have done the same thing, but she was in mortal pain and you questioned her..."

Guilt blazing from his soul, he whispered, "Blair, I was trying to find my dad."

"We all know that, Dean. We all understand! The point is Castiel only _thought_ about exploiting an opportunity. Something every _hunter_ in this barn has actually done – we're _all_ guilty one way or another."

Stubbornly holding onto the guilt, Dean shook his head, "No."

Instantly Blair was angry, "Yes!" She moved away from her husband, "You don't _own_ guilt Dean! It's not exclusively _yours_!"

"Blair…" Dean reached for his wife, but she backed away.

There were tears in her eyes, "My brothers and I were on a hunt. It uh… the hunt went south and my brother, Mike, was missing. I had to question a seven year old kid; just days after he'd watched some damned thing attack and kill his mother. I made him relive it in order to discover where my brother might be."

Dean grabbed his wife and hugged her to him, "Blair…" She fought him for a moment, but then allowed him to comfort her while she cried.

Dean held her tightly and whispered, "Okay, I get it."

Blair smiled at him through her tears, "Good. My next step was smacking you upside the head; ya big dummy."

Dean looked insulted, "You're a… big dummy."

Blair decided to smack him upside the head, anyway. Then she kissed him.

* * *

><p>In the house, Emily was waking up from her nap. She stood up on her bed and looked at Jody sitting in her room. She smiled for a moment because Miss Jody was fun and interesting, but something was wrong. Her face scrunched up, she opened her mouth and let out a piercing scream.<p>

In the barn, Emily's scream came through the baby monitor and everyone turned to look at it. Without thinking, Castiel tried to get to her only to be thrown hard away from the door in a flash of bright light by the suddenly glowing, red hot lock sigils painted on it. He didn't move again after he landed.

Sam and Dean Winchester ran over to help him and Lily picked up her cell phone to call the house. The phone rang several times and was finally picked up by Jody who had to shout over Emily's screams.

Lily was trying to remain calm in the sudden chaos, "Are you being attacked?"

Jody yelled back, "No, she woke up early, smiled at me and then started to scream!"

Dean Remington had been looking at Castiel lying still on the floor. Suddenly, he ran over to his mother and yelled into the phone, "Bring her out here fast!" He turned around and shouted to his brother to get the holy oil. Within seconds Castiel was surrounded by holy fire even though he hadn't moved.

A moment later, Jody was at the door with a screaming child in her arms. Since Castiel was still out, but contained inside the flames, the pastor was able to open the door and let them in. The minute the door opened and she saw her family, Emily stopped screaming. Lily and Bobby rushed over to her and took her from the sheriff's arms.

Once the door was shut again, the Remington boys started to put out the fire. Castiel was not responding to anyone calling to him. Emily accepted her parent's hugs and kisses, but started to fidget to get down. Lily put her down and she slowly walked over to the ring of fire around Castiel. Instinctively, she did not go near it; she just stood there and waited while her brothers put it out. She never said a word, or reacted in any way. She just stared at the angel.

Jody had met Castiel at Emily's christening when she stood as Godmother. Despite her limited knowledge of the supernatural, she had not been told what Castiel was. So when she saw him lying on the floor, with the boys scrambling around to put out a fire, the sheriff in her started to take over. "What the hell have you been doing out here?" She looked around.

Everyone stared at her with a deer-in-the-headlights look, but no one said anything.

If she'd had a gun, she would have pulled it. Instead she pointed at Castiel, "What's wrong with him?"

Again, no one spoke.

She could tell they were all racking their brains for an explanation to give her. She turned to Bobby. "Is he a 'bad' guy?"

Bobby shook his head, "No."

"What's _wrong_ with him?" She repeated.

Bobby sighed and moved over to the light switch, he turned off the regular lights again and switched the black lights back on. Then waved a hand inviting Jody to look around.

Jody moved into the center of the barn and looked all around and above her. "What is all this?"

"It's a trap."

She looked at him, "We're in a trap?"

"No, he is." Bobby gestured toward Cas.

Jody looked at him, "I don't understand, why is he trapped and we aren't, if he's not a bad guy?"

Bobby looked around at everyone. No one was offering any suggestions, so he decided to go with the truth. "It's an angelic trap. I think I made it too strong, though."

"An… angelic trap." Jody looked around at everyone. No one was smiling, so it wasn't a joke. They all just looked really worried about the man lying on the ground. "He's an angel." She said it just like she would say 'The grass is green.'

"Yeah" Bobby looked at the angel still on the ground and saw that his daughter was standing near where the fire had been; the ring was still visible around Cas. Lily and the boys were also standing there, but they were watching Emily, not Castiel. Forgetting Jody, he once again switched the lights back and then walked over to his family. He looked at Lily, "What?"

Lily didn't answer immediately; she was staring at Emily. Finally she said, "Wait." Bobby couldn't tell if Lily was talking to him or to Emily.

Castiel had never moved from where he'd been thrown. Sam and Dean Winchester had stepped away when the fire started, but moved back over to him when the Remington boys put it out. Emily was watching everything without reacting in any way. She was just staring at the angel on the ground.

Dean and Sam had been talking quietly over Cas' inert body. Sam looked at his brother, "There's no physical damage that I can see. Can you tell if he's still alive?"

Dean shook his head, "There's no pulse, no breathing… Does he even have to breathe?"

Sam shrugged, "I don't know."

"Sam, if he was… dead or… or knocked out of Jimmy's body, wouldn't it start to bleed again? Or at least leak blood?"

"Dean, I don't know." Sam started to tap Cas' face, hoping the angel was only badly stunned and not… worse.

The others all stood around as the brother's continued to try to wake Castiel up. After several minutes, Sam and Dean stood up. Dean turned around and put his back to everyone. His hands were fisted. "Dammit!" was all he said.

Finally, when she saw Sam and Dean give up, Emily moved forward. Carefully she stepped over the ring surrounding Castiel. Sam saw her and grabbed Dean, together they backed away from her. Blair, Sarah and Jody moved forward. Blair and Sarah were worried about Castiel and they moved over to Sam and Dean and grabbed their hands; offering and receiving comfort.

Jody watched everything; somehow she knew she was going to see something extraordinary. She wasn't sure if she could wrap her head around the fact that this man was really an angel, but she waited to see what would happen.

Emily moved over to the angel and crouched down by his head. She knelt in the dirt and put her little hands on his face; they both started to glow. The glow intensified and everyone felt a need to shield their eyes. They didn't want to look away, though.

Lily and Bobby were holding hands and Lily reached up and gripped Bobby with her other hand as well. She leaned into him. Bobby tightened his grip on Lily's hand. He was aware he was trembling. The others were looking at the two on the ground in awe.

Sam and Dean Remington were watching their baby sister hold the man's face. They didn't know what she was doing, really, but they hoped it worked. The pastor knew that Emily had grace because of the stories Lily had given him. He knew that Castiel was an angel. He knew these things, but he was still overwhelmed by what he was seeing. He knelt and started to pray.

For several long minutes, Emily kneeled there. Finally, still holding the angel's face in her hands, Emily looked up at her mother. In an almost other-worldly voice she asked, "Are Unca Sam and Unca Dean still mad at him?"

Everyone turned to look at them. Sam looked at his brother; he'd already made his decision. Dean cleared his throat; he shook his head, and with a low, sad voice he answered, "No, sweetheart, we're not mad anymore."

Emily looked back down at the angel. Slowly the glow faded away. She let go of Castiel's face and he opened his eyes. The last thing he remembered was hearing Emily scream and the first thing he saw was her face. She was safe. He reached up and cupped her face with his hand, "Thank you."

Slowly, he sat up and looked at everyone surrounding him. Emily came around in front of him and sat on his lap. For the first time since they'd managed to break her of the habit, Emily stuck her thumb in her mouth and leaned against Castiel's chest. She took hold of the lapel of his coat, closed her eyes and fell asleep in his arms.

Nobody moved for what seemed like minutes. Dean Remington was the first to shake himself out of his stupor. He moved toward the angel and tried to take Emily from his lap. Castiel wouldn't let him. "No. I've got her." Still holding the child, he got up from the floor.

Because she had had some indication that Emily wasn't a 'normal' little girl, Lily wasn't as surprised as everyone else, but she was still stunned. She moved forward, never taking her eyes from her daughter, "Are you going to give her back?"

Castiel smiled at her, "Of course." He looked around at everyone.

Lily started wringing her hands, "Is she okay?"

"She's perfect." Castiel was holding her cradled in his arms. He moved over to Jody and handed the child over to her. "Bobby is… upset. Take Emily over by the door, but do not touch it. She's trapped here, too. While you hold her, you are trapped as well." Jody stared at him for a moment, but then nodded and moved away.

Castiel watched her for a moment, but then turned around to face the others. Everyone noticed that he no longer looked so lost and forlorn. Even his clothing looked clean, ironed and repaired. He looked… happy. It was the best anyone had seen of him in a long time.

Dean was shaken. He'd almost lost his friend forever, "Cas? Are you okay?"

Bobby had been watching Castiel. He moved over to the angel and grabbed his lapels. He pulled the unresisting angel toward him and shouted, "Nevermind that! Chuck _said_ she wasn't an angel! What the _hell_ was _that_?"

Castiel didn't smile and he wasn't angry with Bobby; he just answered calmly, "She's not an angel. She's… angelic."

Lily moved over and grabbed Bobby's arm; urging him to let Castiel go. "That's semantics Cas and you know it."

Once he was released, Castiel stepped away from the couple, "I've been meaning to talk to you about her, actually." He smiled at them, "Chuck said she wasn't an angel, she wouldn't have wings." He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts, "We know of only one other who had grace from the moment of conception. He didn't have wings either."

Lily felt lightheaded, "Is she expected to do… something? Or _be_ something?" She leaned into Bobby.

Castiel hurried to explain, "No! Chuck said nothing was expected of her. She doesn't have a special role to play. She's just… got a gift. She _is_ a gift." He grabbed her hands, "She's fine."

Relieved, Lily nodded, "Okay, so she can heal… anything else we should know?"

He nodded, "Her grace is growing as she grows. I noticed it a few weeks ago when she told you I was sad. She knows where everyone is at all times; which is why she was upset earlier. The sigils written all over this barn cut her off from me, but it cut us off from _her_ as well. She can feel all of you and me." He turned around and smiled at Jody, "Presumably Scott and the sheriff as well; basically anyone she loves or considers family. I don't think distance matters. She also has an idea what you are feeling." He paused for a moment, "Although, it may just be me she can read…"

Lily thought for a moment, "Does she know _exactly _where we are?"

Cas nodded, "Probably." He looked all around at the walls and ceiling and turned to Bobby, "The lock was especially strong. You did a good job."

Bobby nodded; his fear for his little girl was abating, "Sorry." He wiped his hand over his face, "Did it kill you?"

Cas smiled a little and shook his head, "Almost, without help I wouldn't have survived; but I'm much better now." He looked around at the sigils hidden from everyone else; the ones he could see even without the black lights. "You should know, even if you paint over them, neither she nor I will be able to escape this building now. You'll have to break them or replace the door."

Surprised, Bobby nodded, "Okay. The boys and I will fix it." He put his hand on Castiel's shoulder, "I _am_ sorry." Cas nodded.

Wanting to hold his baby girl, Bobby moved over to Jody and took the sleeping child from her. He smiled at her, "You okay?"

Jody nodded, and then shook her head. There were tears in her eyes. "I saw a miracle."

Bobby nodded "Yeah"

"Was I… _holding_ a miracle?" She couldn't take her eyes off the little girl in Bobby's arms. She was rubbing her own arms as if she was a little cold.

He nodded again, "Yeah." He was hugging his daughter tightly, but she didn't react.

Jody nodded again; she took a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh, "Okay. Can I open the door now? I think I need some air."

Bobby turned around to Castiel, "Are you planning to leave forever?"

Castiel shook his head and smiled, "No, I'm here… I'll stay."

The pastor moved over to Jody and guided her to the door. He opened it and they both moved outside. Sam, Sarah and Blair followed. Dean looked at his friend, "Cas…"

Cas looked over at him, "It's okay now, Dean."

Dean looked at his friend and nodded. He looked at Bobby and Lily, then he turned to follow his wife out the door.

As they left, Bobby took Emily over to Lily. He looked at Cas, "Is she okay?"

Cas nodded, "She's fine, but what she did… it took effort."

"How did she know what to do?" Sam Remington asked. "She's only two years old."

"The same way your brother knew to get her out here; someone was guiding them both. Whoever it was helped her."

Lily was surprised and fought the urge to look around, "Someone was here?"

Cas shrugged, "In spirit; or possibly only in their heads"

"Well, thank you for that non-answer." Bobby was still trying to process everything.

Cas shrugged again, "It's the best I can give you. If they had entered physically, they would have been trapped as well."


	6. Chapter 6

**Bonne Année, Gutes Neues Jahr, Hauoli Makahiki Hou, Maligayang Bagong Taon, Gott Nytt År, S Novim Godom, Hyvää Uutta Vuotta, and Happy New Year! (I hope I got those right!)**

Outside, Blair was hugging Dean, "You did it, Babe; you got him to talk, you forgave him, you have your friend back. He's gonna be fine."

"He died."

"No he didn't, Dean, but anyway you _have_; so have Sam and Bobby. So has he! You _know_ in this family, that that really doesn't seem to be a permanent condition. You still hold the number one spot though… you've actually died, what? Something like 110 times!"

Dean scoffed a little and nodded, "True enough." A stupid look of pride showed on his face for a moment. He took her face and kissed her. Then he kissed her again. "I love you, you know."

She looked into his eyes and nodded, "I know. I love you, too." She pulled him into a hug.

As he was holding her in his arms, he whispered a suggestion. "What's say we go back to that Inn in Connecticut?" He put his hand on his wife's belly, "Where this one got started…"

Blair giggled, "I don't know… I think the chef there likes you a little too much."

Dean had a wicked smile on his face, "Well, you'll be there to protect my virtue. Besides, her husband hates me."

Blair giggled some more and nodded. "Maybe, but I think he's pretty nice. They don't know yet, do they? You know they'll _all_ take credit."

"Yeah, well, we know the truth." Dean smiled as he kissed his wife again. It took him by surprise sometimes that he had a wife and a baby on the way, but he never took it for granted.

* * *

><p>Sam and Sarah were standing apart from his brother and wife. They too, were kissing. Sam held his wife's face, "I've lost a year and a half of my life, but everything that's happened has led me to you." He nodded, "I can live with that."<p>

Sarah's eyes were glistening with tears; feeling relief, she hugged him, "You aren't going to try to find out what happened anymore, are you?"

Sam shook his head, "No, not anymore." He bent over and kissed her again, "Let's go home." Whenever Sam said the word 'home', it was said almost reverently. He, too, never took for granted that he had a wife, a child on the way and a _home_.

Seeing his expression, Sarah nodded, "When they come out, we'll say our goodbyes." Then she pulled him back into a kiss.

* * *

><p>After another couple of minutes, Bobby and Lily came out of the barn followed by the younger Sam and Dean. Castiel came out last carrying Emily. She was draped on his shoulder and still deeply asleep. He continued past everyone and took the tiny girl on back to the house. As he passed Dean, he said, "Jimmy says "thanks'."<p>

Dean just looked after him in surprise.

Curious, Jody followed the angel and the little girl back to the house.

Lily walked up to Dean and smacked him on the shoulder.

Dean looked at her in surprise, "What was that for?"

"You're too old to be hanging from the rafters painting the ceiling!" Lily yelled at him.

"I didn't do it!" Dean's eyes strayed over to the actual culprits. He smiled in relief that it wouldn't be his head on Lily's platter, "You guys are so busted."

Sam and Dean Remington had nervous looks on their faces and were backing away slowly.

Furious, Lily turned around, but it wasn't her sons she was stalking, it was Bobby.

Bobby put up his hands and was also moving slowly away from her, "Now Honey, we had them strapped in six ways from Sunday. They were in no danger of falling."

Lily's grin at him was feral, "Don't 'Honey' me! Stand still! I won't hurt you – much… Emily can fix you when I'm done."

When they realized they weren't in any immediate danger, Sam and Dean Remington stopped backing away so that they could watch. Smiling Sam called out, "You'd better run, Bobby, she looks fit to kill!"

Lily turned and growled at him.

Laughing, Sarah and Sam, Dean and Blair turned and walked back to the house. The others would come in when Lily was done killing them. Sam and Sarah would depart then.

* * *

><p>In the house, Castiel and Jody were in Emily's room just watching her sleep. Jody kept stealing glances at him. Finally he turned to look at her. "Is something wrong?"<p>

"Wrong?" Jody looked surprised, "No, what could be wrong?"

"You are staring."

"No, I'm not staring; staring would be rude. I'm just watching Emily sleep…" Jody ran her hands through her hair.

"It is my experience when people do gestures of that sort," he pointed to her head, "They are nervous or agitated in some way. Dean does it frequently."

Jody's eyes flashed, "Look, I am not nervous, agitated or _scared_."

"Then why are you backing away from me?"

Jody glanced around and saw he was right. She found herself nearly across the room from him. Seeing he was right, she sighed, "Should I be?"

"Should you be what?" Castiel tilted his head, his blue eyes boring a hole in her.

"Should I be scared of you?"

"They told you what I am, didn't they?" He turned back around to look again at Emily. He knew she was fine, but he just couldn't seem to help it.

"I don't think they had a choice. I went in there and found you lying on the ground in a ring of fire and everyone, _including_ Pastor Jacobs, had a guilty, panic stricken look on their face. I'm a sheriff. They probably thought I was gonna arrest them or something."

Castiel smiled a little, "They surrounded me with fire? They were determined that I not escape, weren't they?"

"Why?"

Castiel glanced back at her, "Why what?"

"Why would they not want you to escape?"

"Because I told them I would never come back."

"Look, I don't know Dean and Sam very well, but I saw Dean's face while you were lying there. He was… shattered." She took a cautious step toward him. "I don't think he would have really recovered if Emily hadn't done… what she did." She stepped forward again. "I think it would kill him if you…died, or… or never came back."

Castiel just nodded, "I understand that now." He was silent after that, just staring at Emily sleeping.

Jody moved back over to the crib where Emily slept. "You and I are her Godparents, but you have the advantage, I think." She cleared her throat, "How did she do that?"

Castiel gave her a brief picture of what happened when Lily conceived Emily and what Chuck told them would happen. Jody's face was a picture of awe and surprise. "That's what you meant when you said she was angelic?"

Cas nodded.

"Wow!" Jody moved away again and sat down in the rocking chair. "I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that you're an angel. Now I have to do it again for Emily. It's a bit much."

She sat there silently for several minutes and then looked up at him, "Can I ask you a question?"

He turned to her and nodded.

Jody's eyes were full of tears, "My husband and son… are they in Heaven?"

He stared at her for a moment, "Yes, they are together in Heaven."

Jody nodded and started to cry, "Will I join them?"

He nodded, "Eventually."

She looked at him, "I don't want to know exactly, but… sooner or later?"

He stared at her, "Later, I think."

"You think?"

"I'm not God, I'm not omniscient. You are healthy and while you have a dangerous job, there's no reason to think you won't live a long time."

"Will I ever be happy?"

Castiel turned again toward the little girl in the crib, "I'm not a fortune teller, either."

"Of course not, I'm sorry."

A few moments went by before Cas asked, "Why aren't you happy?"

"Because my husband and son are both dead. And I'm left alone." She got up and moved over to the window. "I know what happened to Lily; she lost everyone. I don't know how she breathes sometimes. I lost everyone and sometimes I'm so breathless with the pain, I struggle to stand upright."

Castiel was watching her, "Lily said something similar once. She said that she had the boys and they helped her to keep going."

"Yeah, well, when my son died the _first_ time, I had my husband. But then… well, then there was no one to help me. I had to struggle with it on my own and I'm still struggling." She crossed her arms as if she was cold. "There are times, when I don't want to anymore."

"I understand that; trying to overcome something without help is… hard." He was still watching her. "Lily had a counselor for awhile, so did the boys. I had Scott and them." He gestured with his hand to indicate the family downstairs. He stepped up behind her, "I think, if you need to, you can call me."

Lily was standing in the doorway. They hadn't seen her and she was blatantly watching them and listening to their conversation. "You can call me, too." She moved over to Jody, "I'm so sorry. I didn't see your pain." She hugged the other woman, "You aren't alone, you know. We all understand what you're going through." Jody was crying on her friend's shoulder and Lily continued. "All of us have experienced devastating loss. We've all gotten the help we need and it's time to pay it forward. It's your turn now. I'm just sorry it took so long to offer it."

Lily turned and started to lead Jody out of the room. She looked at Castiel, "Is Emily going to wake up soon?"

"I don't think so. She will probably sleep until tomorrow."

"Well, I'll send the one of the boys up to sit with her." Silently, she gestured with her head that Castiel was to follow her.

As she left the room with Jody, Lily was whispering to her and rubbing her back.

**December, 3 years later**

It was Christmas Eve and the entire family was gathered in the Singer living room. People were talking and laughing; having a good time. Lily and Jody were in the kitchen talking and cooking and getting snacks together. Later, they would all go to the church for Candlelight Services. Pastor Jacobs would join them in the morning for breakfast and Christmas morning festivities.

Blair was pregnant again; this time with twins. Sarah and Sam had started trying for another baby as well. The boys were home from their first year of college. Dean had gotten into Stanford, Studying Psychology and Sam was attending Purdue, studying Automotive Engineering. They both had big dreams and Lily had no doubt they would achieve them.

Carrying a platter of cookies, Lily looked around at her family. She felt like she could burst from happiness. Sam and Sarah were canoodling on the couch. Bobby was deep in discussion with her sons; it sounded like they were discussing a quick hunt before the boys went back to school. Emily had gone over to Jody who sat down and pulled her into her lap for some snuggle time. They were both giggling and whispering. Dean was sitting on the floor at the feet of his wife who had fallen asleep in the easy chair Bobby had given Lily. In Dean's lap was his daughter, Mary and Sam's son, John. The little ones had sippy cups and Mary was holding a fire truck. Dean was telling them a story; a _highly_ edited story about the time he was kidnapped by fairies. He was keeping his voice down so that Sam couldn't hear him. As he finished the story, Castiel arrived in a flutter of wings and the entire family gathered around to greet him. Lily was happily surprised by the more than casual greeting between Jody and the angel. She sighed; it couldn't get any better than this.

**The End**

**AN 1: The part where Dean sits on the floor with children in his lap telling them a story is dedicated to Hailey C. Black. Hailey, if you read this, I hope you like it.**

**AN 2: I feel like that's the end and way better than the original I posted earlier.**

**First, I can't believe that Jody Mills wasn't completely devastated by the loss of her husband and son – especially the way she lost them. There had to be some residual effects even years later. As I figure it, she probably threw herself into her job to compensate. Since this isn't S7 compliant, there's no indication that Jody and Bobby were anything more than reluctant friends. So anyway, she needs a happy ending, too. Lily and the family will see to it that she gets one. (If something more specific comes to me, maybe I'll write it. :)**

**Also, I was rereading "To Put Things Right", _again_, to make sure this lined up with that story after I re-wrote some of it and realized that I got _every single female_ in the story pregnant! Hilarious! It's a good thing Lily's boys Sam and Dean Remington didn't have girlfriends, or that story would have become an "After School Special".**

**Last, I apologize for the shameless reference to my other story "Bridge" (Well, not really, I've been looking for a way to throw it out there that Dean and Blair honeymooned at the Dragonfly…;).**

**Thanks,  
>Sali.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Despite the fact that I marked the story 'Complete', this epilogue started slapping me upside the head. So here it is.**

Chuck walked toward the nondescript, brown door, alternately feeling nervous and elated. As he approached it, the door opened from a command that came from within.

The room looked like any office of any mid-level management type in any high-rise office building in any city. There were windows behind the desk and fake plants. The desk piled high with books and shelves along the three other walls were stuffed with more books. There was an executive-type chair and two smaller, less comfortable chairs for visitors.

Chuck paused for a moment with his head bowed, and then he looked up and spoke, "He's okay now." He said to the being behind the desk.

"I saw."

"Am I done?"

"I think so." The being replied, "They will take care of Jody Mills. She was never your responsibility."

Chuck nodded in relief, "Can I return to the visage I prefer then?"

The being nodded, "You know why you had to be in that one. They never would have trusted you in your usual form."

Chuck's face and form slowly morphed into the original face and form of Gabriel. He nodded, "I know. I know I had to pay for my crimes against them and humanity. I understand."

"You've redeemed yourself with them; with them and with me." The being looked at him, "You know why I brought you back. Even with Joshua, I needed help; especially with your brothers in the cage. I brought you back because at the end, it was you that finally obeyed my directive."

"I'm sorry it took me so long." He paused for a moment, "Can I go and tell them?"

"No. Wait until they get here. Their long lives will be a blink of an eye for us."

"What about Castiel?"

"If you told him, I'm not sure he would not tell them."

Gabriel looked shocked, "You doubt his loyalty to you?"

The being shook his head and stood up, "No, not really. I'm more aware of his loyalty to them. While they live, they are his and he is theirs. That bond is immutable." He turned to look out the window behind him. To Gabriel, the view out of the window was the skyline of a city. To the being, the view could and would be anything.

Gabriel looked at him. "What about after they arrive? Will they be together?"

"Oh, yes. They will _all_ be together; as it should be – for a while anyway. Right up until the moment Dean gets restless – Sam won't be far behind." The being turned his head and smiled at Gabriel, "Shouldn't be too long."

"I'm looking forward to seeing their expressions when you tell them what you need them for."

"As am I."

"Do you know what they'll say?"

The being gave a delighted laugh and returned to the view outside, "I have absolutely no idea."


End file.
